THE NEWSLETTER

 

Today's Note from a madman

 

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

 

The DNC?

Do you know what you hear when you call the DNC in Washington, DC? Nothing. Not a thing. The phone just rings and rings and rings, etc. Not even the pleasant voice of an answering machine or even a beep. It makes one wonder: Have the dioors closed on the DNC. Has someone lost the keys? Maybe they've been outsourced.

Hey boys and girls of the DNC. Time to get off your tush if you want to fight Bush.

Then I call 411 to find out the number of Howard dean's "Democracy for America." I got the number for "Americans for Democracy, but they are not involved with the governor.

Strike 2.

I'm getting nervous about the next pitch. i hope its not another change-up.


The EXECUTIVE ORDER...FOR TORTURE
President Bush signed an Executive Order authorizing "Torture" tactics on prisoners in Guantanimo Bay and others, the ACLU released today. Among some other documents released were emails by the FBI agents and supervisors seeking to "cover their asses." The ACLU is looking for other documents to be released using the "Freedom of Information Act" as leverage against government efforts to keep these documents hidden.

That buck keeps on working its way back to President Bush's desk.


WHAT WOULD KARL ROVE DO?
I wonder what the strategy Karl Rove would have used if his boss, "G"(Lobal) "W"(arming) Bush was running against Abe Lincoln in the Republican Primary in 1860.

How would Karl have re-written the US Constitution after viewing the "rough draft" written by Thomas Jefferson?

Just remember what he did to John McCain in 2000.


The PROBLEMS WITH LIBERALS
What's the real problem with us Liberals?

Well, for one thing, it took us a day and a half to learn the correct pronunciation of Abu-Graib


YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS
The Cary Christian Academy in North Carolina is teaching its 600 plus students that slavery wasn't that bad. They are teaching their students, through textbooks that practice revisionist history that the slave and their "owners" had a great relationship that was more friendly than master-owner.

Makes you miss the good old days, doesn't it?
 


Stupid Quote of the Day

 

"When smoking makes a teen less attractive to the great majority of the opposite sex, as now appears to be the case, one of the long-imagined benefits for adolescent smoking is seriously undercut,"

-Lloyd Johnston, lead researcher for the Monitoring the Future study.

I hope the Marlboro Man doesn't hear about this. Oh, wait a minute... he's dead.


My Trip to the Mall

by Noah Greenberg

 

So I'm working in South Jersey today. On the way back from Turnersville via Route 195, I stop by the Jackson Outlets. I'm checking out the stores when I spot the Jockey Outlet. Although I have already looked at all the jockey underwear I could stand at both the Monmouth Mall and Freehold Raceway Mall, I figured, "Sure, why not." I enter the store and see wall-to-wall underwear made in: Honduras; Costa Rica; China. I'm feeling like I may have to go, shall we say, al fresco from now on. Either that or wear shorts from north of the border.

I'm at the very back of the store when lo and behold... there they are. Jockey "Form" briefs and boxer-briefs, as well as undershirts.

I HAVE HIT THE MADE-IN-THE-USA GOLDMINE!

These being specialty shorts, I but two pairs and an undershirt. With my socks and jacket, i can now raise my arms and not fear getting arrested.

Now its time to find pants.

 

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-Noah Greenberg