THE NEWSLETTER

Today's Note From a Madman

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

 

SURPRISE!

 

I normally don’t watch Chris Matthews because I don’t want to poke my eyeballs out with a hot poker or shove that hot poker in my ear. That being said, as I was breezing through the stations, I came upon his show. Low and behold, there was Christine Todd Whitman. You all might remember Ex-Governor Whitman as the woman who left New Jersey with a gigantic budget deficit and a joke of running governors to take her place. Us residents of the Garden State well remember the “Governor of the day” fiasco she left in her wake as she became the EPA chief for what seemed like ten minutes under “G”lobal “W”arming Bush.

 

Matthews did ask her one question that caught my ear. He asked Whitman if the other residents of the White House shared the president’s view on “choice”. The answer was that President Bush was in the “minority”.

 

I guess there really is a Republican that can “surprise” me after all.


TO LIFE!

 

“G”lobal “W”arming Bush met with leaders of the African American Community on Tuesday, January 25 to inform them that they should be all over his plan to privatize (or is it “piratize” – thanks Robert Scardapane) Social Security.

 

You know “W’s” plan that he is constantly touting… its the plan that doesn’t exist… but the one he will endorse once he hears it… as long as it is the same as his plan…you know, the one that doesn’t exist.

 

In any even I digress, President “G”lobal “W”arming Bush met with people who “represent” the black community, but supported him for President, not Senator John Kerry.

 

Sounds like a contradiction in terms considering only 10 percent of the African American voting population voted for the president.

 

After touting his efforts to combat the AIDS problem both locally and throughout the world (millions for abstinence, not a penny for condoms), President “G”lobal “W”arming Bush made his “privatization/ piratization” plug.

 

His idea is this:

Because black people live shorter lives than white people, they aren’t able to take advantage of all of the money paid into the Social Security Trust Fund. Since they can’t take advantage of these funds, they should endorse private accounts. The logic is that this will give their heirs the balance of the money they would have received had they been WHITE.

 

This brings to mind 2 questions:

Question 1: Since black people live shorter lives than white people, Mr. President, then shouldn’t there be a line of rich white folk outside of the White House as far as the eye can see clamoring for you to leave Social Security alone?

Question 2: Since Black people live shorter lives than white people, shouldn’t we figure out why and do something about it? Maybe make education better? Maybe build more community centers to make sure black children have a place to go after school? Maybe make our inner cities safer? Maybe you shouldn’t take money back from cities like Jersey City and Newark for Homeland Security so they could free up their budgets for their citizens’ needs?

 

Not to worry. The ten percent of the black community that voted for President Bush is well represented.


MONEY? WHAT MONEY?

 

Maggie Gallagher took $21,500 from HHC and Tommy Thompson to tell us all “marriage is good”.

 

Hey, everybody deserves to make a buck and judging by what Armstrong Williams charged the Department of Education, it was a “steal”.

 

Maggie is a conservative columnist that had been paid by magazines like National Review to pass her wisdom on marriage to all of you living in sin. As she was writing these pearls of wisdom, she “forgot” that she was paid the small sum of $21,000 by the Bushies while she was also being paid by, and representing herself as an impartial columnist for the magazine that is just slightly to the left of Attila the Hun.

 

Maybe in the Bush-World $21,000 is a sum that one could “forget” about, but not in the world that the rest of us live in.

 

By the way, that 21 grand was paid for by us in the “latter” world.


SUBWAY FIRE

 

Those of you who live in and around New York City no doubt heard about the subway tunnel fire that put the “A” and the “C” trains out of commission. These trains take half-a-million people to work, school and home almost each and every day.

 

So, newspapers in New York complained about the lack of support from Governor Pataki, since he is responsible for the Mass Transit Authority (MTA) and they wondered why a homeless man was able to not only get into a subway tunnel, but also get near a switching station and light a fire!

 

These are all good questions. But I have another good question. Why is it that a man HAS TO go into a subway tunnel to get out of single-digit temperatures, then light a fire in a dangerous subway tunnel to stay warm?

 

You can get pissed about the symptoms, but maybe its time to look for a cure.


“DEFICIT? WHAT DEFICIT? OH… THAT DEFICIT.”

 

Last year, “G”lobal “W”arming Bush told us all that the deficit was 331 billion dollars. Chump change for a big spender from Texas by way of Connecticut. Then he revised it to 410 billion dollars. Oops.

 

The CBO predicts now that the deficit for year 2005 will hit 427 billion dollars. That’s an increase of just 17 billion dollars; a little more than Halliburton stole from the oil fields of Iraq.

 

The significance of this “increase” in the “deficit” is that the President says he will reduce the deficit, which he created, in half in the next four years.

 

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t the deficit number have to go DOWN in order for it to DECREASE?


NO PRICE IS TOO LOW FOR SAFETY

 

The Rand Corporation completed a study regarding airline security. In order to fit each airplane with a missile defense system, it would cost the industry 11 billion dollars initially and 2.1 billion dollars for upkeep.

 

That’s too much money just to save lives.

 

One wonders, of all the millions of people that fly every day, how much would that really cost?

 

Money Vs. Lives. Now where have I heard that before?


TODAY'S STUPID QUOTES

 

Today’s Stupid Quote of the Day

Or “What I Heard”

By Noah Greenberg

 

SOLIDAD O'BRIEN: Republican Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison of Texas joins us from the Capitol. Good morning, Nice to see you.

 

SEN. KAY BAILEY HUTCHISON (R), TEXAS: Thank you, Soledad.

 

O'BRIEN: Before we talk about what's going on with the Condoleezza Rice nomination, let's talk a little bit about the president's speech yesterday. What did you make of the speech?

 

HUTCHISON: Well, I think he (President Bush) was speaking to yadda, yadda, yadda freedom yadd, yadda freedom yadda, yadda, yadda.

 

O'BRIEN: There are some people coming who have been coming up with a list because speeches like this often are short of specifics. So they've come up with a list of countries that maybe the president was talking to, like Iran and China and Pakistan and Saudi Arabia and Egypt, North Korea, Cuba. The list could go on and on and on.

 

Some have said that's too aggressive, too far-reaching, too ambitious. You agree or disagree?

 

HUTCHISON: Well, Soledad, what I think the president was saying is, yadda, yadda, yadda, Americans, yadda, yadda, yadda terrorists yadda, yadda, yadda.

 

Yadda, yadda, Iran, yadda, yadda, nuclear weapon, yadda, yadda, yadda security of our country. And Saudi Arabia yadda, yadda yadda, yadda, yadda harm Americans.

 

And I think these countries yadda, yadda terrorists come to our country and kill Americans. Yadda, yadda go where they are yadda, yadda to wipe them out.

 

O'BRIEN: There was not a whole lot said about the domestic agenda. Some have said that that means that he's chucking Social Security overboard. I think a speechwriter said on our air this morning. Did that seem to you like that was an admission that signifies that maybe Social Security's not going to be at the top of the president's agenda?

 

HUTCHISON: No. I do think on the domestic agenda Social Security yadd, yadda, yadda. Yadda, yadda, yadda talk to Americans, yadda, yadda speaking to the world.

 

I think he (President Bush) was trying to focus on where America is yadda, yadda freedom, yadda, yadda freedom is freedom prevails. Yadda, yadda if you are going to harm Americans and threaten Americans because you don't have freedom, yadda, yadda, yadda.

 

O'BRIEN: Let's talk about the Democrats and Condoleezza Rice. They now say it might be till next week before Condoleezza Rice is confirmed as secretary of state. Senator Reid said yesterday to me that it is not a stalling tactic, that four or five days is hardly a stall. How do you read it?

 

HUTCHISON: Well, I'm disappointed. I think the president yadda, yadda, yadda.

 

Yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, etc.

 

O'BRIEN: A tactic to what -- forgive me for interrupting. I'm just curious, a tactic to what end? What do you think the motivation is?

 

HUTCHISON: Yadda, yadda, yadda criticize the president and the war on terrorism and Iraq yadd, yadda, yadda Condi Rice.yadd, yadda, yadda harm the president.

 

Yadda, yadda Condi Rice. Yadda, yadda (EVIL, EVIL, EVIL) Democrats yadda, yadda. Yadda, yadda bipartisanship, yadda, yadda unity of our country yadda, yadda president yadda, yadda, yadda.

 

O'BRIEN: Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison joining us this morning, nice to see you. Thanks for chatting with us.

 

HUTCHISON: Yadda, yadda, yadda Soledad.

 

-Robert Scardapane


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-Noah Greenberg