THE NEWSLETTER

This Weekend's Note from a Madman

Friday-Sunday, January 7-9, 2005

 

 

Governor Bill Richardson of New Mexico will make sure his state's National Guardsmen are insured, something the Bush Administration and Donald Rumsfeld won't do. Gov. Richardson is having the New Mexico state government pay the $20 a month so that all of their guardsmen in danger's path will have that all important, $250,000 piece of mind.

 

When asked why he was doing this, the Governor said, "I want to help."

 

I think the reason that he is doing this is three-fold:

  1. By making sure these guardsmen are covered, the families that are left behind will have the money they need for their future.

  2. By making sure these guardsmen are covered, if the unthinkable happens, their families will not have to be put on public assistance and be a drain, financially, on the economy.

  3. AND it's the right thing to do.

 

The right thing to do... Hmm... What a novel idea!

 

The head of the VFW said they "are pleased and proud."

 

Me Too.


A SUCCESSFUL STRATEGY?

 

President "G"lobal "W"arming Bush said that part of a successful strategy in Iraq is to have elections on time, creating an Iraqi Police Force, yadda, yadda, yadda...

 

How would he know what a successful strategy would look like? Since the fall of the statue of Saddam Hussein, its been one "cluster-f**k" (I hate cursing) after another!

 

President "Bush" wouldn't know a successful strategy if it bit him in the "tush".


 

HELP FROM THE SCUM OF THE EARTH?

 

Steve Pomerantz, former head of the FBI counterterrorism division, told Fox News on Friday that al-Qaeda wants to help in the tsunami relief efforts.

 

Just how do they plan about doing that?


 

Just in case we have to be reminded...

 

Arthur Anderson was indicted as a company in the Enron scandal. That means no one has ever been convicted of a crime who worked for the accounting giant that helped Enron bilk their investors and employees out of billions.

 

Now, the US Supreme Court is going to take a look at the case that sent no one to jail. It appears the Supreme-9 might want to overturn the conviction without teeth.

 

What everyone seems to forget is that 85,000 people lost their jobs because of the accounting giant's greed. To put that number in perspective, there are 83,000 private contractors working in Iraq. If every one of those contractors was an ex-Anderson employee, 2,000 would still be unemployed.

 

The big shots at Arthur Anderson had their golden parachutes. The 85,000? Well I guess their just out of luck.


 

President "G"lobal "W"arming Bush said the terrorists in Iraq are just like the Taliban.

 

Thanks for creating them, G.W.


 

PAID SUPPORT

 

By now, everybody knows that the Bush Administration had the Department of Education pay Armstrong Williams $240,000 to promote the "No Child Left Behind" initiative. This move was done as a "serious news and editorial" campaign in much the same way that the Bush Administration promoted Medicare (using actors portraying commentators).

 

Here I am again... A day late and a dollar short.

 

What you might NOT have known is that the Bush Administration said they were told about this after the fact!

 

What a set of COJONES on these liars!

 

This brings up a question:

If the "Bushies" knew about this ILLEGAL PAYMENT OF THE TAXPAYER'S HARD EARNED MONEY to this commentator-for-rent, even if it was "after the fact", then why wasn't it the "Bushies" who reported it?

 

$240,000, to put in perspective, would have hired about six new teachers in urban areas all throughout the United States.

 

The Department of Education kept tabs of all of many reporters and how they reported the "No Child Left Behind" initiative. They called this the "FAVORABILITY LIST".

 

I guess Armstrong Williams won the lottery.

 

I wonder if all this money came from the Blue States only?


 

A TREE GROWS IN SRI LANKA

 

Colin Powell, in Sri Lanka to assess the damage Done by the Sumatran Earthquake and the resulting tsunami, remembered being there over 20 years ago as a soldier and being impressed by a giant tree called the "Banyan Tree". He asked if he see it again.

 

Colin Powell's and Jeb Bush's "humanitarian trip" is now either a sight-seeing adventure or a scouting party for American Loggers.

 

That tree will make a lot of paper.


 

John Kerry wants to run for President again in 2008.

 

Can anyone say Adlai Stevenson?


 

Governor Bill Richardson of New Mexico will make sure his state's National Guardsmen are insured, something the Bush Administration and Donald Rumsfeld won't do. Gov. Richardson is having the New Mexico state government pay the $20 a month so that all of their guardsmen in danger's path will have that all important, $250,000 piece of mind.

 

When asked why he was doing this, the Governor said, "I want to help."

 

I think the reason that he is doing this is three-fold:

  1. By making sure these guardsmen are covered, the families that are left behind will have the money they need for their future.

  2. By making sure these guardsmen are covered, if the unthinkable happens, their families will not have to be put on public assistance and be a drain, financially, on the economy.

  3. AND it's the right thing to do.

 

The right thing to do... Hmm... What a novel idea!

 

The head of the VFW said they "are pleased and proud."

 

Me Too.


 

A QUIZ

 

How many people die in the United states every year from Medical Malpractice?

  1. 10,000

  2. 50,000

  3. 100,000

  4. Only people who live in Blue States

The answer is "c".

 

What is the percentage of prescriptions that are filled incorrectly?

  1. 11%

  2. 15%

  3. 26%

  4. Only elderly people in Blue States

The answer is "c".


 

CHOO-CHOO (COUGH-COUGH)

 

Two freight trains collided in South Carolina, both filled with toxic chemicals. So far nine people have died and hundreds have been injured.

 

An area one mile wide had to be cleared of any human life, or there would be no human life there.

 

Letting polluters and other companies police themselves... another idea brought to you by "G"lobal "W"arming Bush and his Corporate Communists.


After the Exploding Firestone Tire fiasco of a few years ago, the Bush Administration vowed to create a National Database of tire-related auto accidents. Firestone objected and guess what we don't have?

 

A National Database of tire-related auto accidents!

 

What a surprise.


I DUNNO

 

When Senator Dick Durbin (D-Ill) asked Judge Alberto Gonzales if there were any circumstances where torture was acceptable, the judge basically said, I'll get back to you on that one, Dick.


TODAY’S STUPID QUOTE

 

"They're dancing in the streets in Thailand, just like before the tsunami,"

-As heard on Anderson Cooper, 360 (guest commentator), Friday, January 7, 2004

 

They were referring to "sex workers" being back to business as usual!

They aren't "sex workers". They're "sex slaves" making money for pimps, many of them sold into slavery by poor families with nowhere to turn.

 

Where is the outrage?

 

-Noah Greenberg


 

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-Noah Greenberg