THE NEWSLETTER

Today's Note from a Madman and a Madwoman

 

Monday, January 3, 2005

 

Let's Hear it for a Red State (No Kidding)

The Montana State Supreme Court ruled that the Big Sky State's colleges must provide health insurance for the partners of their gay employees.

In the land of
RED, a little BLUE must fall.

 

-Noah Greenberg


More On Language
by Marcella De Simone


George W. Bush
is an environmentally friendly president. He is so concerned with Americans’ health that he passed the Clear Skies Act of 2003 to keep the air we breathe clean. According to the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) Web site, this initiative provides, "dramatic benefits for public health."

Clear Skies will reduce mercury in the environment and help reduce nitrogen loads to the Chesapeake Bay and other waters along the East and Gulf Coasts. The agency projects that by 2020 14,000 premature deaths will be avoided because of Clear Skies.

What wonderful legislation! How kind of our commander in chief to think of our health for us! Except, of course, for the fact that
we already have legislation in place that, if enforced, would result in a greater reduction of mercury and other toxins in our air, and ostensibly even fewer premature deaths by 2020. Thank you George W. Bush, for making poorer the quality of air Americans breathe, for potentially shortening our life spans, and for getting the majority of us to believe that by passing this legislation, you were acting in our best interest.

It looks like the people who own coal-fired power plants can take it a little easier because of this legislation. I guess it’s their interests you’re looking after.

According to the
Sierra Club, San Francisco, Mercury is a dangerous toxin that threatens people and wildlife as a pollutant from coal-fired power plants.

"The EPA estimates that enforcement of existing toxic air pollution protections in the Clean Air Act will limit mercury pollution to 5 tons per year by 2008. The Bush Administration’s plan weakens the limit to 26 tons per year by 2010 – allowing
520 percent more mercury pollution," according to the Sierra Club Web site. "A new EPA report discusses the ways pregnant women pass mercury on to their babies, causing mental retardation, but why did the Administration sit on the report for more than nine months and only release it after journalists exposed their findings?"

 

(Maybe the Bush Administration was waiting the 9 months for the report to give birth - NG)


"The
Bush plan creates a loophole exempting power plants from being held accountable to the Clean Air Act’s New Source Review (NSR) standards and from being required to install cleanup technology (best available retrofit technology or BART)," the Sierra Club says. "NSR standards require new power plants and upgraded plants to comply with modern federal emissions limits.

"BART protects communities from persistent haze and other air quality problems by reducing the pollution emitted from antiquated power plants. ‘Clear Skies’ delays the enforcement of public health standards for smog and soot until the end of 2015. The
Bush plan restricts the power of states to call for an end to pollution from upwind sources in other states. The plan prohibits any petitions of this sort from even being implemented before 2012."

The American people should sue George W. Bush for selling us a bill of goods. By calling this legislation the Clear Skies Act and without explaining to his constituents that it will actually result in less clean air than the legislation it bypasses (the Clean Air Act passed in 1970) called for, he has shirked his responsibility to put all the facts on the table so that voters could make a decision based on reason, rather than rhetoric aimed at hiding the potentially dangerous truth.

Conservatives have made an art out of obfuscating issues. Bush needs to be called to task for allowing more pollutants in our air and telling us we’re better off for it. We should be able to believe our politicians when they say something, without having to verify and confirm everything through non-partisan groups. In keeping the facts out of the argument,
George W. Bush lied to us, all the while insisting he was acting for the highest good of the American people. I don’t think this is what voters in the red states were banking on when they made sure Bush stayed in office, in control of their air.


 

Meet the new PLO leader. Same as the old PLO leader.
Sung to The Who's, "We Don't Get Fooled Again."

Palestinian leader
Mahmoud Abbas said he wants to protect Palestinian Militants from Israel. He didn't say that he wants to Protect Palestinian Citizens from Israel. He didn't say he wants to protect Palestinian Citizens from Palestinian Militants.

I guess we're off to a great start. The obstacle standing in front of peace in Palestine was supposed to be
Yasser Arafat. After his death, many assumed that Israel and the Palestinians would work toward PEACE. But something is missing.

WHERE ARE YOU GEORGE W. BUSH?

Where is that
Roadmap-to-Peace we all heard so much about?
Where is the
spirit of cooperation you spoke of?
Where are the
leaders you said would come forward?
What
excuse are you going to us now, Mr. President?
Whose
fault is it?
Who will you
blame?
Who will you have
FOX NEWS point their little, crooked, Australian finger at now?

GET OFF YOUR TUSH AND GET MOVING, PRESIDENT BUSH!

You can bet your tush that if there was oil sitting under the sand in Gaza, there would be a few thousand US National Guardsmen there to "ensure Democracy" and a "Fair Election."

For once, President Bush, take responsibility and do something.

 

-Noah Greenberg


Colonel Qaddafi and his Ducks


Libya is enticing oil executives to start doing business with the Colonel Qaddafi and his Qaddafi Ducks once again. (Hey, the guy is the leader of Libya. Shouldn't he have been promoted to General by now?).

After Colonel
Qaddafi took responsibility for a score of terror attacks, including the 1988 bombing of Pan Am flight 103, which killed 270 people over Lockerbie, Scotland (he agreed to a $2.7 billion settlement with the families of the victims.), it appears that all is forgiven.

I guess that as long as you have oil, its okay to murder Americans and other innocent people around the World. Just let us get at your oil and don't worry about a thing.

"One of the most critical issues facing the oil industry today is access to new oil reserves, and Libya represents tremendous resources,"

-Clarence Cazalot, the chief executive of Marathon Oil in Houston

You know that once one of the
Houston Oil Boys says something like that, its just a matter of time before the President either invades a country (Iraq) or holds hands with the country's leaders (Saudi Arabia).

 

-Noah Greenberg


The NLRB (National Labor Relations Board) have made many decisions over the last few months and , surprise surprise, most of those decisions have favored employers over employees.

Two steps back... no steps forward.

Temporary workers and Graduate students alike can't unionize and unions haven't been able to get financial details from employers during contract negotiations. This all thanks to the Republican controlled board.

"After eight years of a 'liberal' Clinton board and an extremely 'liberal' general counsel, there is of course going to be some turning back toward a conservative agenda,"
-Randel Johnson, vice president for labor, immigration and employee benefits at the United States Chamber of Commerce

In case you never heard of the US Chamber of Commerce, think Attila the Hun, then move to the Right a bit.

The use of the word
"liberal" is supposed to make workers feel they were "harmed" by the Clinton Era. In fact, they were a whole lot better off.

Scream and yell all you want, but this is the state of labor today.

If you're in a union, or want to be... Good Luck.

"NO BENEFITS FOR YOU... 4 YEARS", as the Soup Nazi might say.

 

-Noah Greenberg


HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

New Years Day has come and gone. Say good-bye to 2004 and hello to 2005. Put away the red suit and hat.

 

Its time to dress up like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.

 

There are Japanese SUV's and Chinese merchandise to sell.

America, get your credit cards ready. Its time to get into more debt.

 

-Noah Greenberg


"This is going to probably be the most productive two years of our Republican majority, It's not just Social Security and tax reform, it's tort reform, regulatory reform, restraining spending, redesigning the House, redesigning the government."

-Tom Delay

TRANSLATED:

-The "productive" part will be less goods being produced by Americans for Americans, but more money produced for Corporate Communists. This will enable them to give the kick backs that make the Republican that dominate congress what they really want.... money, money, money.

-When
Delay talks of tax reform, he is referring to the middle class being taxed more because of less aid to states and municipalities and more money to those who need it the least... that top one percent of American Aristocracy that knows three things more than any others... Greed, Greed, Greed

-When the House Majority Leader tells you he will lead the effort in
Social Security Reform, you can bet that stock brokers are getting ready to buy new homes, cars and vacation condos. I can see the golden parachutes landing now as we watch our dollars turn to coins. By the way, GW had the fed borrow 280 billion dollars from Social Security. Part of "fixing" Social Security involves forgiving that debt.

I did the math recently. My employers and I have paid almost $200,000 in Social Security Insurance since I have been working regularly. A portion of that borrowed 280 billion dollars is mine.

I'm calling in the note.

I want the people controlling Social Security to be boring, underpaid government employees that are working toward a pension. I don't want some Wall street stock broker looking to retire early on my dime.

-
Tort reform will take the guise of smaller awards for major gaffes, and no one will care, until they are affected. Do we really think that doctor's malpractice insurance rates are going down and patient care will get better under the watch of Tom Delay? C'mon now.

-
Regulatory reform will become the "Dirty Water Act" and "The Polluted Air Initiative." Corporate giants will get to police themselves.

-The only
spending restraint that will occur will affect the programs that we all need, but never realized that we needed. Finally we are building that bridge to the past that GW's father talked about. We're going back to the dark ages.
 

-Re-designing the House and Government will mean bigger perks for Delay and his cronies and less for the American People.

Re-designing government. Hmm... Maybe they'll put up curtains.

 

-Noah Greenberg


Dumbest Headline of the Day

"Ohio Supreme Court Prohibits Tobacco Ads on Matches"

Way to make a stand, dudes.

 

-Noah Greenberg


FUZZY MATH

The
"Bushies" predicted a deficit of 521 billion dollars. When the deficit turned out to be a mere 421 billion dollars, the "Bushies"decided that they reduced the deficit by 100 billion dollars, so far.

They are going to take credit for collecting the biggest tax revenue surge in the country's history. That will lower the National Debt by an additional 217 billion dollars.

Wow... We're saving money hand over fist now.

There is, of course, one major problem with these figures.
THERE IS NO MONEY TO BACK IT UP. THESE ARE FAKE NUMBERS.

I'd like to buy a new car with the money I'm going to make from my future Las Vegas gambling winnings, assuming, of course, that I go to Las Vegas.

I wish I had that magical BUSH - CHENEY calculator. The one without the (-) sign.

 

-Noah Greenberg


Today's Stupid Quote

 

"...cash donations are most useful,"
-President "G"(lobal) "W"(arming) Bush on the need to give help to the tsunami victims

Hey President Bush. I took a look at Halliburton's press clippings today and guess what I didn't see. Not a word from the global giant about contributing anything to the tsunami relief effort. Not a penny, nickel or a dime.  It appears HALLIBURTON CONTRIBUTED NOTHING! I would think that before you ask the American people to help, which they do without your suggestion, maybe you ought to ask those that can better afford it, like:

Halliburton, Dick Cheney, and YOU, Mr. President.

 

-Noah Greenberg


 

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-Noah Greenberg