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This Is What Democracy Looks Like

Today's Note From a Madman

March 13, 2008


Hard News

I expect it from Fox News. When Jon Stewart showed the OJ Simpson-like "chase" scene of the now former New York Governor's three-car motorcade, I wasn't surprised to see the Fox News logo on the bottom left of the screen. I was a little disturbed, however, to see that very same coverage from CNN.

But what really got to me was that very same network's show, Anderson Cooper 360. Here's a part of the shows mission statement:

"The show's hallmark is its 'Keeping them Honest' franchise -- demanding answers and finding the truth."

So who did this seeker of truth; this arbiter of the American psyche have as his first guest? Don't bother guessing - you'll never get it.

He had a pimp!

That's right - Anderson Cooper had a pimp on his show as his first, and most prominent guest. The guy, a former high-priced hooker agent kept referring to "my girls" as if he was speaking about his adolescent daughters. And Cooper didn't treat him as if he were an ex-con abuser of young women; he treated the guy as if he were royalty!

Check out the opening exchange between Jason Itzler, the "former pimp" and Cooper:

COOPER: There's no shortage of experts in this case in the law, politics, human behavior. Tonight, we are going to talk to all of them, but, first, someone with knowledge of the secretive world of high-prices escorts, Jason Itzler. He once billed himself as the king of all pimps. He ran a high-priced escort service here in New York that was shut down by authorities.
Jason, thanks for being with us.
You were arrested while Eliot Spitzer was attorney general. When you heard that he was caught up in this, what did you think?
JASON ITZLER, FORMER PIMP: I thought it was shocking, and I thought it was ironic. I was very surprised.

And it continued:

ITZLER: I have heard reports that, after five years of marriage, about 85 percent of people don't really have sex anymore.

85 percent of all marriages are sexless after just fiver years of marriage? Where does one get "facts" such as that? And why does a statement like that get absolutely no scrutiny from Cooper on what used to be the most important name in cable news, CNN? Is this really the best we can do? But there's more:

ITZLER: So, I think that these people are in marriages. Maybe they're happy marriages, but the sex life probably isn't what it was at the beginning. And these guys come into New York. You know, big businessmen throughout the country come to New York on business. I think they have a tendency, a lot of them, of seeing escorts, running back to their wife, and not -- never talking about it.

Really now, Mr. Itzler? It's a good thing that cooper had you on his show so that we can hear from the mouth of a real expert on why men go to hookers. I must have missed the episode of Cops with the undercover female office dressed up as a prostitute. (Oh, wait! That's just about every episode!) I wonder if Mrs. Spitzer considers her marriage to be "happy" today?

Although I turned off the show after about two or there minutes, it still haunted me. I mean, the guy had on a pimp for goodness sakes. so rather than watch the rest of it - and believe me, it was hard not to - I decided to wait for the transcript to come out http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0803/12/acd.01.html). It did today, the very next day. And here's more of it:

COOPER: And how would -- I mean, why would the women work for you?
ITZLER: I think the women worked for me because the -- the guys that were my clients were of such high quality, you know, nice-looking guys, a good age, super-successful, leaders, like winner-type of guys that -- that these girls want to meet, like the kind of jet-set New York crowd.

Hey Anderson, the women worked for him because they got paid a lot of money for renting out their bodies on an hourly basis. They weren't looking for "nice guys"; they were looking for the big bucks which come from being a high-price call-girl.

And, by the way, the guys probably didn't care about the girl's politics or family background or education or, well, just about anything other than, as Neil Simon put it in Brighton Beach Memoirs, The Golden Palace of the Himalayas. And that's the way it's been since the inception of "The World's Oldest Profession".

Cooper should be ashamed of himself and CNN ought to be ashamed of their network today.

-Noah Greenberg

American Idle

Bush's made his singing debut at the Gridiron Club. Here are the lyrics to the little tune he sang:

I spend my days clearing brush
I clear my head of all the fuss
Oh, like the fuss you made over Harriet and Brownie
Down the lane, I look out
Here comes Scooter
Finally free of the prosecutor
It's good to touch the brown, brown grass of home.
I awake and look around me
At the oval walls that surround me
And I realize I was only dreaming
There's Condi and Dick, my old compadre
Talking to me about some oil-rich Saudi
But soon, I'll touch the brown, brown grass of home
Yes you're all gonna miss me
The way you used to quiz me
But soon I'll touch the brown, brown grass of home
[inaudible] Dick Cheney strolling with documents he's been withholding
It's good to touch the brown, brown grass of home
Yes you're all gonna miss me
The way you used to diss me
But soon I'll touch the brown, brown grass of home.

Oh yeah, now how's that for demented. It rivals Ashcroft's "Let the Eagles Soar". Bush actually thinks it's amusing that Libby was pardoned and Cheney is withholding information. This is truly both arrogance at it's height and sad.

-Robert Scardapane

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-Noah Greenberg