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Weekend Madman

Friday-Sunday, April 6-8, 2007


Governor Elmer J. Romney (REPUBLICAN-MA)
(or is he Mitt Fudd?)

I don't hunt, but I have nothing against those who do. But former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, in his zeal to please all of the Conservatives all of the time, needs to prove himself to the NRA and their key members, hunters, by showing and telling us all that he is one of them.

"I purchased a gun when I was a young man. I've been a hunter pretty much all my life,"
-Romney in New Hampshire to a guy wearing an NRA cap

Maybe we should start calling him Elmer J. Romney.

"I puwchased a gwun when I was a ywoung man. I've been a hunter pwetty much all my wife, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh,"
-Elmer J. Romney

In fact, former Governor Fudd has actually been hunting only twice in his life: Once as a 15 year old boy and once last year with cousins in Idaho. (Hey! Isn't that where Senator John Kerry went hunting during his presidential bid in 2004?)

And, by the way, Romney decided that now would be a fine idea to join the NRA as a lifetime member.

"Gov. Romney's support for the Second Amendment doesn't come from the fact he knows how to handle a firearm; it comes from his appreciation of the Constitution and the rights enshrined in it, including the right to keep and bear arms,"
-campaign spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom

Or, maybe... just maybe... Governor Fudd's gun support comes from his desire to kiss up to anyone and anything that might get him the GOP presidential nomination. Let's face facts. it won't be the first time a politician did or said something for political reasons.

" I used to hunt rabbits,"

Or is that "Wabbits"?

"Shooting a rabbit with a single-shot .22 is pretty hard, and after watching me try for a couple of weeks, (my cousins) said, `We'll slip you the semiautomatic. You'll do better with that.' And I sure did."

Does anyone remember the harm which another former Mass Governor and presidential candidate, Michael Dukakis, did to his image when he donned an army helmet and drove a tank? It looked as if we were being invaded by a middle eastern nation! One has to wonder when (and if) politicians will stop being who they think we want them to be and start being who they are.

Just as an example of who Romney actually is, let's remember that it was during Romney's tenure as Mass Governor that a bill was passed to make sure just about everyone in the Bay State had access to health care, and Romney takes full credit for it. However, the REAL Mitt Romney is the one who actually vetoed that same bill which eventually passed without his signature.

"I'm after the NRA's endorsement. I'm not sure they'll give it to me. I hope they will. I also joined because if I'm going to ask for their endorsement, they're going to ask for mine."

In other words, compromising one's principles or doing things for the sake of appearances is "OK" with Mitt. If there is something this nation doesn't need in its next presidential term it will certainly be another President Photo-Op, and it appears that's who Romney is.

Although early in his first term as governor, Romney signed a tough assault weapon law, with the support of many gun owners in Massachusetts, more recently (2006) he endorsed and signed an NRA backed bill. One has to wonder if that bill was signed with one gubernatorial eye on the paper and one on the White House.

"I don't line up with a lot of special interest groups."

Well it certainly sounds that way to us, Mitt.

-Noah Greenberg

Calling Muqtada's Dare

"You, the Iraqi army and police forces, don't walk alongside the occupiers, because they are your archenemy,"
"God has ordered you to be patient in front of your enemy, and unify your efforts against them not against the sons of Iraq, You have to protect and build Iraq."
-A purported statement from Muqtada al-Sadr the statement said

On the surface one might think that this statement by al-Sadr, proposing that his Mahdi Army and all of Iraq's new troops, stop cooperating with the Americans is a bad thing. But I'm a glass half full kind of a guy, so here's my take on this statement:

1- This is the first time that anyone of any note in Iraq has called for the stoppage of killing Iraqis... and..

Since the new Iraqi government run by Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki is (and has shown how much he is) beholden to the Sadr City Cleric; and since it appears that nothing will happen until HE is satisfied, then let's give him what he wants. I propose that it's time to allow the Iraqi troops the opportunity to police their nation themselves. We Americans should move to a military base inside of the Kurdish territory and start protecting the porous borders which exist between Iraq and Syria and Iraq and Iran.

If all it takes is for our troops to exit certain areas in Iraq, while allowing what President Bush has been yelling about since the beginning of the occupation - that the Iraqi government and police take charge of their own nation and people - then we ought to set these wheels in motion and allow hem to attempt to do this. If al-Sadr has the power he seems to think he has, then this will, in effect, halt the Iraqi on Iraqi violence. if he doesn't then we're no worse off than we are right now.

Sometimes when someone dares you, you have to accept that dare. And if that dare leads to the end of sectarian violence in Iraq, and the removal of the targets from the backs of our soldiers, then I say "Let's do it!"

-Noah Greenberg

This has to be the funniest (if unintentionally so) letter to the editor I've seen in ages:

Support for Chiarella

To the editor:
I am writing because I want to ask you to vote for my great grand-nephew, Ken Chiarella.
He's a good boy and will work hard for you.
I'm 88 years old and he takes good care of me. I know he takes good care of his kids and he really loves Monroe.
Kenny lives on a piece of my father's farm that he bought several years ago. He loves that land like it is one of his kids.
Kenny is very involved and wants to be elected to the Board of Education because he wants to build the high school that we paid for four years ago and he wants to make sure that we get what we paid for.
There is a bunch of other stuff that he says he wants to do but I can't remember all of it. I just know that what he told me sounded pretty good.
I'm retired and only make so much money from Social Security and my late-husband's pension. I can't afford this kind of delay. I voted for the last referendum.
I would like to see us get to work on building that school before it costs us $100 million more.
I know my nephew will do it. He's a nice boy, but he'll get tough if he has to, and he always does what he says. I know he cares about seniors and children. We need someone with that sort of outlook.
I told him he better fix this Board of Education of ours or I'm going to spank him.

Nicky Bevacqua
Monroe (NJ)

-Submitted by Eddie Konczal

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-Noah Greenberg